When the kids rule the roost

I keep thinking this blog is no longer about alcohol but it dawned on me today that because I'm no longer using alcohol as a coping mechanism - this is the reason all these other things are coming to light!  Like usually, kids bugging me, drink.. spouse annoyed me... drink.... stressed trying to cook dinner... drink... sunny day ... well you get the picture!

But now I'm faced with all these things - life's challenges - and I have to actually deal with them.

So I've had it with the kids ruling my world.  And like I know, kids come first and they always have.  But I soooo accommodate them with every.. little... thing....and I mean everything.  I have this thing in my that my kids must not be upset.  Or wanting.  Or lacking.  Or anything really.  So when J-bird wants to watch a tv show - great.  But then he wants to watch something different so I change it.  Then he wants a different part  of the show.  So I change it.  Ad nauseum. 

I don't know how I didn't see this before.  OF COURSE it is going to do my head in.  Like running around like a headless chicken trying to satisfy children who don't even have a clue what they want?!  But I don't want them raised like I was so I try to give them everything they need.

No more.  In the end I just end up snapping.  Like how can I not?  I am a patient person and I can last for ages, but when I know it's an endless cycle of this, of course I can't take it.  I don't think anyone can.  And this is probably the second biggest reason why I want to work (the first being money money money monnnneeeey!).  I just want to/ need to get away. 

But now I want to work on my own business.  And my husband is tired of hearing me complain about how hard it is at home - he wants me to do something.  Like make a change.  Like go to work.  So here I am, on my own, trying to deal with it.  I don't want to be away from my kids 5 days a week.  But I don't want to continue like this.

So today I figured it out.  I need stronger boundaries.  And not the kind where I put a rule in place and then I feel like I'm being 'mean' to the kids so I hug them and apologise and give in to something else.  I mean rules.  Strong rules.  Fair rules, but strong none-the-less.  So here I am, making the rules.  The kids were throwing food around at dinner so I turned the tvs off and made them pick it all up.  Then the tv didn't go back on.  They had to play and be good. 

Ok all this probably sounds pretty straightforward and obvious but for me it hasn't been.  Between my PND, my upbringing of being hit and basically ignored, and not knowing what to do instead I have been running around trying to make EVERYONE else happy and making myself insane in the process.

Small steps, but today I actually did something to take control.  I'm sure for my kids this is out of the norm but it will soon become the norm.  I need to sit down and think of the rules I want in my house and a way I can deal with them. 

Speaking of which.. must go deal with them now!