This is something I have been hearing about since my mid-twenties. It's not so much the situation that we are in, it's how we interpret it that makes the difference. The book The Secret calls it the Law of Attraction - that what we put out in the universe comes back to us. Louise Hay talks about vibrations and energy and what we put out in the universe we get back. I really want to buy in to all this, but at the very least, I believe that what we focus on - what I focus on - is what I pay attention to more so that's what I experience more of .. if that makes sense.
For example. Losing weight.. still focussing on the weight. And of course - stop drinking... still really focusing on the 'drinking'. Instead think of being thin or living a sober, brilliant life!
I try really hard to retrain my brain but I find that since I had kids, and since the depression, I am stuck a lot in my brain. Well that's probably not entirely true. I think this has always been the way I am but now that I'm not rushing off to work and 'busy' all day I just have more time to think about things. More time to realise things. More time to see how my thoughts are shaping my world.
I know that today, when I have both kids home and no money in the bank and no glass of wine at the end of the tunnel, I start thinking 'this is going to be a long day'. That is going to make it a long day.
The problem for me is how do I change the way I think? Is it small steps? A major overhaul? It seems overwhelming. But it's something I want to work on because I can only imagine how wonderful my life would be if my first thougths in the morning are 'how great it is to be alive! I am ready to start this day!'
I think you're right about it being a matter of perspective as you can turn any negative into a positive and vice versa. The more you associate not having a drink with being 'deprived' of course the more you will fear it. But you can also say you were more deprived before because on some level you didn't feel acceptable to be your full, unadulterated self. The drink was starting to hold you back.
ReplyDeleteThe real power is having it in your environment, but knowing you have the choice to say no, and then not wanting to. It can take years to fully rewire preprogrammed ways of thinking, especially ones that run deep. What sets me free, is how free I feel when I'm not worrying about the next time I will use. It feels like a weight lifted, and I know others prefer me when I'm fully present in the moment. When I'm not trying to feel some elusive other thing, of which I probably have never achieved in an altered state of mind. I have to remind myself that whatever I'm trying to gain from it isn't possible. It would be one thing if it worked! But alas that's the allure of it. Can keep the most level-headed person going back for more.
The thing that strikes me is that it's not always uncomfortable to be in a sober state, infact it can be incredibly liberating not having to deal with seeming functional, or who will find out what, not having to look over your shoulder. It can be monotonous of course, without anything to numb or embolden you. It makes you real and naturally that can be hard all the time. We work hard for our time, and why shouldn't we feel the best we can. I don't think it is wrong to want that.
As for cutting down, I'm not sure if that's possible long term, speaking from experience. The tendency is to do well for a while, then the want to do more creeps up on you. Until you are back to square one. That's not to say you can't do that, but it will take a lot more willpower than if you went cold turkey. Obviously I'm not an expert, but I wanted to reach out to you. Hope it gets better for you :)
Well following your blog is a no brainer. We are polar-universe twins or something, what the hell. Check out my story - The Dry Life. Easiest from the first post, I only have 9 or 10 now... Nice to meet you Rosie
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