I give up

So we still haven't found a house to buy and we also can't seem to find a house to rent... And now my husband and I are not talking because I lost the plot and yelled at him last night.  This is the last thing we need right now, and now I feel isolated and all alone in our house with the kids who are basically fighting all the time.  Just now I sat down and thought that I could, should just get a bottle of wine.  My usual thought of knowing where it will quickly lead (to me being drunk every day) is not enough of a deterrent which surprises me because it always has been.  So now I just think make it til 5pm and I'll walk out of the house as soon as my husband walks in.  I just need to make it to 5pm.  I used to say that but for wine.  But then I know that won't be a break, it'll just keep me trapped in the house anyway.  I wish I had someone to talk to.  I wish he knew the struggle I go through.  I wish he appreciated just how hard I work every day.  Not just on the house and raising the kids but on the sobriety.  It may look easy, but it's not.  And I'm doing awesome and it's unnoticed.