Update time

Hi all,

Been a bit absent.  We went on holiday for a week so didn't post .. got back and just got busy with life.

Things have been going well for the most part.  Been a bit stressful with the move and not knowing what we're going to be doing but we've just realised selling the house right now would mean making a huge loss so we've decided to stay put for the time being.  HUGE stress off my shoulders.

As for the drinking, I've been seeing my alcohol counsellor.  Bit tough as she actually said I was addicted to alcohol and anyone who is should abstain.  That was a real shock to hear and I think part of me is still in disbelief even though I know I have a problem... if that makes sense.  Up til now everyone I have sought out has sort of laughed at me thinking I had a problem.  She left my goal up to me and for now I'm still trying to control my drinking.  I am doing this for a couple of reasons.  One is that I need to prove to myself that I can (or more likely can't) control my drinking.  That way if and when I do decide to abstain I will know for sure that I couldn't control it.. not like last time where I doubted if I had a problem.  The second is of course that I don't want to stop drinking.  Of course.

So it's been ok.  When I don't drink, I find it pretty easy peasy.  When I do drink I have been keeping to my set limit with my counsellor... except one night I overdid it drinking with family.  So right now my limit is still pretty high - one bottle of wine (yikes!) per session which is fairly easy to control because I only have a bottle of wine in the house at any given time so I can't continue.  Still, it's hard once I start.  But then the next day I realise that I'm still pretty hung over and feel quite crappy.  At least I don't have the guilt (as much) because i'm working towards a goal.

So that's where things stand at the moment.