Time for a change

Well I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good, though a bit groggy.  Somewhere along my daily journeys I decided that I would drink last night.  I had a bottle and a half of wine, which is now the norm since a bottle doesn't quite do it.  I ended up getting really upset with my husband about something that was very important to me ... but today I can't even remember what it was.  And that was the second time I did that over the past week.

This morning my husband gave me a big cuddle and said it was because of what happened last night.  I am so ashamed that I don't know what it is, and I don't want to know what I said.  He knows I can't remember.

It's definitely time for me to quit.  I don't know how I did it before for 2 months.  But it's definietly time.  I'm not drinking tonight  - and it has been hard.  But the good thing is that I have a craft market tomorrow and it will be awesome not to wake up hung over and to be able to get through the day without feeling awful and tired.

I'm doing ok right now.  I'm home alone because my husband and boys are out at the rugby club .. I didn't want to stay because I don't want to drink.  Actually that's not true - I'm tired and I just don't want to be there so I came home.  It's nice, just doing some sewing and watching tv.  I'm going to make dinner now and eat before they get home (they're having dinner there - don't know why I felt the need to mention that haha!) so that I am even less tempted to drink.  I always drink on an empty stomach and usually stop once I've eaten.  Once I eat tonight I know any thoughts of having alcohol will be gone.  Then I can go to bed nice and early and get a good night's sleep.

Today is the first day of me being sober.