Sunday 5 October 2014

Why I'm back...

So I've felt really drawn to write many times over the past few years but I haven't.  I was really focused on building my business, and building my brand. I thought for some reason that if I wrote on this blog and people found out that I had a drinking problem, that somehow I would lose that image I was trying to build.  Sounds a bit ridiculous, but it was a real fear.

Then I saw Mrs D. come out and speak about her drinking. When she spoke out, I realized that it is her strength that allowed her to do so.  I was so impressed by her courage to talk, especially given that her husband has such a public profile.  Beyond this, I loved that this topic of drinking became something that people were speaking about.  I went for a walk the day after the interview aired... I went with 3 Mums from my son's school and Mrs D was the topic of conversation.  I felt elated - I loved that Mrs D brought this topic into our every day lives.  I opened up one on one to one of the women there and when we caught up with the other two, one was questioning that she sometimes thought she drank too much.  I realized in that moment that I had nothing to be ashamed of.  I had a problem with drinking, and every day I am doing something about it.  

I am still using a pseudonym, but I am here to share my story.  I haven't been very open in the past about the fact that I had a drinking problem but on my two year sober-versary I posted on my facebook page that I hadn't had a drink in 2 years and I got SO much support from my friends and family.  I knew that posting that would raise flags to them.... I mean I used to be THE party girl so for me to have stopped completely, well it was as good as admitting that I was an alcoholic right there for all to see.  The outpouring of support I received was just amazing and actually brought tears to my eyes.  I'm sure more than a few of them knew I had a problem and are probably glad that I quit and that didn't destroy my life with alcohol.  People even asked me about it afterward and I was really open.  I just realized that I have no reason to hide and to lie about the fantastic decision that I made to stop drinking.

I am so thankful for Mrs D coming out and telling her story.  Her story is my story - and maybe your story too.  Mrs D gave me the courage to come back and to acknowledge this new life that I lead.  I am proud - probably for the first time - about choosing this lifestyle and am now embracing it more than ever.